About me

I am living large and taking charge! Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done. I have a fear of speed bump but I'm slowly getting over it. Sometimes I prefer to use my face for emoticons. I like my bed more than I like most people. I'm not concerned about my age, I don't feel a day over fabulous! I wish I was a little kid so I could take a long nap, and when I wake up people would just be proud of me. Not everyone likes me. But not everyone matters. I hope the next big trend in music is talent! I broke a mirror seven years ago and I'm still having bad luck. I have to be successful because I have very expensive taste. I can count the amount of girlfriends I've had on one hand, if I use a calculator. If I managed my bank account as well as I manage my phone battery, I'd be rich. If you don't like me, but you follow everything I do, darling you're a fan! I get ignored so often that my nickname should be "Terms and Conditions". Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out. Love me, hate me - either way, you're spending your time thinking of me! I'll stop wearing black when they invent a darker colour. Cuddling is my favourite exercise. I know Victoria's secret. CAUTION: You might get addicted to me. There's always that one person who is going to annoy me every time they open their mouth. You couldn't handle me, even if I came with instructions. Deep conversations with someone who understands me, is everything. Dear YouTube, I will always skip ads. If you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you? If time is money, I am running out of time. I'm half prince, half ninja, deal with it! I'm not superstitious but I am super! If I'm sad, sometimes I'll sing to myself to try to cheer myself up, but my singing is so bad, usually I end up feeling worse. I hate it when I put on 15kg for a role, and then I realise I'm not even an actor. I'm into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope I fit into my jeans. I'm almost perfect (When I heavily edit my selfies). WARNING: I have an attitude and I know how to use it! WARNING: You may not recognize me at all, until I apply my halloween mask, I wish I could donate my body fat to those in need. I'm not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone. I'm so HOT, I make fire! I'm not ashamed to say, I've never loved another person as much as I love myself. I may have a bad mouth, but I can do great things with it. Judge me (When you are perfect). Be real with me, or just leave me alone. Normal rules don't apply to me because I am brown. I thought growing older would take longer. I find acting like a grown up totally exhausting. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. Let me be me... Because once I change, you will miss the 'me' in me. My daily routine: Get up, be brilliant, go back to bed, repeat. Go ahead, judge me. But just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life. Sometimes I feel quite intelligent. Other times I have to sing the ABCs in my head to remember which letter comes next. I love it when song lyrics totally apply to my current situation. If you tickle me, I am not responsible for your injuries. To be honest, I get a little nervous right before I say Worcestershire sauce. When I get lonely, I set my phone's alarm to go off every few hours so I can imagine what it would be like to have people texting me. Perhaps I could be of assistance? After all, I happen to be awesome. I have a disease called AWESOME. Kiss me, I'm contagious! I'd rather eat chocolate than aim to have a thigh gap! I carry a knife... But it's just in case of cake! I have an eating disorder. I'm about to eat dis order of pizza, dis order of fries, and dis order of nuggets. I'm an original, I don't need a label. They all call me crazy until they find out I'm right. I wish Facebook would notify me when someone deletes me. That way I could 'Like' it. I feel sad when I go to unfriend someone and they've already beat me to it. Take me as I am, or watch me as I go. Hating me won't make you pretty. Don't study me, you won't graduate. Keep calm, and ignore me. Half of me is a hopeless romantic, the other half is fairly thoughtless. They say dreams tell you something about yourself, but I dream of shapes. So I have no clue what a triangle and a hexagon means about me. I hope you remember me, like I remember you. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me! Keep spreading those rumors, you're making me famous! I don't try to be better than anyone else but myself. I'm always trying hard to improve my selfies. If I don't love me, who will? I can and I will... Watch me!